Friday, April 8, 2011
A new day
But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.
Today feels lighter! He has led me through a dark couple weeks and today...light. A new day. The rain stopped, sun poured in, & new leaves unfolded on the branch outside my window.
I'm refreshed by rest and He fills me with hope again.
Yesterday, I wanted to bathe in self-pity. I mean bathe...roll around in it, lap it up...you know?...just yuk. I felt sorry for myself, I was frustrated, exhausted and honestly all I wanted to do was sit on the couch and sulk.
And I COULDN'T. haha. I couldn't because in His grace, He wouldn't let me.
I didn't realize it was His doing until the end of the day...and I just started laughing.
So here's how the day went:
I had a school photoshoot from 6:30-11:30am, then off to pick up the kids, followed by a quick pick up at my business partners house, who made me laugh...and brought me out of it for a minute. I then head home, the babies need to be changed and fed, & Gavin wants a 5 fifth meal at 1pm. :) Pheww. I finish getting the kids taken care of, I throw on too tight sweat pants and a t-shirt(inside out) and start picking up my messy house. There is a knock at the door and its my sweet and thoughtful neighbor dropping by for a visit. We have a great time talking and playing(my shirt still inside out, and my pants still too tight). She heads home and I throw some rice on for dinner, a quick bite & the doorbell rings...its another dear friend stopping by to pick-up snow chains. We chat and she encourages me & makes me smile, as always. Now its time to start the bedtime routine. The kids are all down, read to, tucked in and happy in bed. And, just then, my handsome husband comes home (late) and wants to talk. I'm tired Lord...so I vent my frustrations to Josh of how all I wanted to do, all day, was sulk and now your home!
We laugh...it feels good to laugh. He is so gentle and understanding.
We laugh at how God wouldn't let me sit in darkness and wouldn't let me slip into depression. He brought precious gifts...precious people to keep me occupied, speak life, and make me laugh...just until the darkness passed.
Is that what it looks like? Is that Him walking with me? Is that Him never leaving or forsaking me? I think so. :)
9 They shall come with weeping,
And with supplications I will lead them.
I will cause them to walk by the rivers of waters,
In a straight way in which they shall not stumble;
1 I cry out to the LORD with my voice;
With my voice to the LORD I make my supplication.
2 I pour out my complaint before Him;
I declare before Him my trouble.
3 When my spirit was overwhelmed within me,
Then You knew my path.
In the way in which I walk
7 The righteous shall surround me,
For You shall deal bountifully with me.”
And the LORD, He is the One who goes before you.
He will be with you,
He will not leave you nor forsake you;
do not fear nor be dismayed.”
He restores my soul;
I'm done...no more sulking. Its a NEW DAY! I'm enjoying it, drinking it in and thankful for a God that NEVER leaves me, even when I turn and look favorably at darkness. He gently turns and nudges my gaze back...back into His light filled eyes. Amazing.