Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
Saturday, February 25, 2012
A blank page and a heart beating out of my chest. It must be time to write. I feel a little rusty but God has been moving so much in my heart and soul and life that I feel compelled to share something. To testify, atleast to say that He is amazing. My heart pounds in prayer, I'm short of breath when His spirit is near, & my heart is quickened at the sound of His voice. A few months ago a friend layed hands and prayed for me and my prayer life has not been the same. It started as a longing in my heart...a desire for more. I prayed...God, teach me to pray. I'm missing something. I want to know how to pray, effectively. I want to hear your voice. I prayed this for about a month and then one week it grew stronger. I prayed again Lord, show me to pray. The next night a few of us girls got together and at the end of our night, one friend looked at me and said, "Can I pray for you?" I eagerly said, Yes! The Holy Spirit put it on her heart and she was obedient in stepping out in faith. She took the time to pray for me and stir the gifts of the Spirit in me. Her hands felt like fire.(2 Timothy 1: 6-9 For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time)
God answered my prayer that night and I experienced what happens when you invite the Holy Spirit to your prayer time. (Jude 1:20-23 But you, dear friends, build yourselves up in your most holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit. Keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.
Be merciful to those who doubt; snatch others from the fire and save them;)
I have been stuck in a battle over my physical body. Well, it hasn't been much of a battle, more like total defeat. And I really don't want to talk about it. So, I will. I gave a half hearted attempt for a couple months and kept going back to my old ways, the problem was the battle in my mind was already lost. I was convinced I was a failure and would continue to fail. I would try...but was SURE I wouldn't be able to get anywhere. So I moped and complained to my husband, one night, overwhelmed by defeat. He said, well, you can sit there and mope or you can get up and make one good choice. I tucked my tail between my legs and walked away, knowing he was right, but didn't want to admit it. I let it soak in, while I watched tv and i'm sure I ate something. :) Then the phone rings its a friend from church just calling to see if there is anything he can pray for. This meant so much because I know this particular man & his family are literally hanging on for dear life, right in the middle of major pain in their lives and they called to see how they can pray for us. That was it!! He was defeated and could choose to sit and wallow or move and make one good choice. That was the moment that changed it for me. The next day in the car a sermon comes on and the pastor talks about how we have a future and a hope and we can sit and wallow in past defeat & go nowhere or we can allow Christ to work in us and move us towards that promised future and hope. I'm learning that the battle first takes place in my mind and in my will. Both requiring armor...defensive armor over my mind...taking every thought captive & making it obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5) & offensive armor...the sword of the Spirit & the word of God to move my will into action to live out what I believe. Now I know He loves me the same, even if I never lose another pound. However, His love is so chastening, wanting me to live a life free of addiction, a life of joy, a life of obedience and self-discipline.
I am now working out, eating right, and feeling so much better already. I have a long way to go but all i'm focusing on is the next good choice. The same can be said in my spiritual life. I am fighting for time with God, eating His word, worshiping while obeying...even when it feels totally awkward being out of my comfort zone...the joy of obedience is inexpressible. It's like I'm running hand in hand with Jesus and He's excited I'm running with Him. Its like the final minutes of your workout when you know the end is drawing near and you want to sprint to make it to the finish line. I recognize that He is coming soon for His children and I'm ready to sprint the rest of the way, tears in my eyes, sweat on my brow, only to hear, "Well done my good and faithful servant." This life is not all there is. This is just the beginning of eternity! Please know this... This time matters. For all of eternity depends on your relationship with Jesus Christ. Please hear this: 1 Timothy 2:5&6 For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all men.
Have you lost the will to fight to push, to run? I had too. Pray. Assemble. Don't be afraid to ask your friends to meet and pray! You would be blown away at how many are longing for it. Fight for time, after the kids are down to bed maybe?
1Blessed is he
whose transgressions are forgiven,
whose sins are covered.
2Blessed is the man
whose sin the Lord does not count against him
and in whose spirit is no deceit.
3When I kept silent,
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
4For day and night
your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer. Selah
5Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
my transgressions to the Lord”—
and you forgave
the guilt of my sin. Selah
6Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you
while you may be found;
surely when the mighty waters rise,
they will not reach him.
7You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah
8I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you and watch over you.
9Do not be like the horse or the mule,
which have no understanding
but must be controlled by bit and bridle
or they will not come to you.
10Many are the woes of the wicked,
but the Lord’s unfailing love
surrounds the man who trusts in him.
11Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous;
sing, all you who are upright in heart!
5Now this is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. 6You have planted much, but have harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.”
7This is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. 8Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build the house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored,” says the Lord. 9“You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the Lord Almighty. “Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house. 10Therefore, because of you the heavens have withheld their dew and the earth its crops. 11I called for a drought on the fields and the mountains, on the grain, the new wine, the oil and whatever the ground produces, on men and cattle, and on the labor of your hands.”
12Then, the high priest, and the whole remnant of the people obeyed the voice of the Lord their God and the message of the prophet Haggai, because the Lord their God had sent him. And the people feared the Lord.
13Then Haggai, the Lord’s messenger, gave this message of the Lord to the people: “I am with you,” declares the Lord. 14So the Lord stirred up the spirit of Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, and the spirit of Joshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest, and the spirit of the whole remnant of the people. They came and began to work on the house of the Lord Almighty, their God, 15on the twenty-fourth day of the sixth month in the second year of King Darius.
4But now be strong, O Zerubbabel,’ declares the Lord. ‘Be strong, O Joshua, the high priest. Be strong, all you people of the land,’ declares the Lord, ‘and work. For I am with you,’ declares the Lord Almighty. 5‘This is what I covenanted with you when you came out of Egypt. And my Spirit remains among you. Do not fear.’
So Joshua said to the Israelites: "How long will you wait before you begin to take possession of the land that the LORD, the God of your fathers, has given you?
You have filled my heart with greater joy
than when their grain and new wine abound.
Restore the joy of your salvation to me, and provide me with a spirit of willing obedience.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
I'm happy to be sick & stuck at home this New Years day. It may sound silly but it seems to be the only thing that stops me. And I needed it. What a perfect day to be still. A perfect day to soak in & embrace the inspiration around me. My soundtrack Bethel Live. My camera Canon 5D Mark ii. My husband Josh. My kids Gavin, Grace, & Bo. My God in my heart & speaking still. I'm aware that this time is short and it counts. I often dream of how I can serve Him & how I can do more. I'm concerned with what impact i'm having. But more and more I realize He wants me, not what I can do for Him. He wants me still in His presence. Had I been moving today I might have missed the joy in the silliness, tears, drippy noses, laughter, shaved mustache, gorgeous blond curls, dirty feet & constant conversation with my God. Happy New Year indeed! I eagerly look forward to what joys my God will bring & reveal in 2012.
One Thirst lyrics
You say to us seek Your face
Our hearts reply Your face we seek
Come teach us Lord reveal Your ways
Anoint us for the greater things
We have gathered with one thirst and hunger
We're here to drink of glory and wonder
Here to cry out come and fill this place
Our single wish, our sole desire
To gaze upon Your beauty God
We will not rest not will we cease
Till with our eyes Your face we see
We wait for You to
Come and show Your glory here today
We wait for You