Sunday, March 27, 2011

Come inside and rest

After the news this week, I have definitely been a little mushier with my momma. I'm eager to receive her calls, I appreciate her voice, thoughts, time...everything.
So, the other day I got a call from her. I paused seeing her picture on my phone as it rang. I thought what if I never saw that picture again. What if I didn't get a call from her everyday?
We talk and she asks if she can stop by in a couple minutes. A little excited, I said, "Yes, comeover!" We hang up and I busy myself tidying a few things. Making it pretty for her. She likes pretty. I move the flowers just right and pick up the toys strewn all over the living room. I put a kettle of hot water on, for tea. I start dishing out a little strawberry shortcake on the pretty plates. She likes pretty. I want to make it pretty for her. I turn on some music. The atmosphere is set, she will like this. I want her to feel relaxed when she comes in. I want her to sit and stay a while. The babies are sleeping, we won't have any distractions. I eagerly await her arrival and I look out the window of my front door and think she should be here by now.
I see her. Yay. She's here.
Oh, she's talking to someone on her phone, in the car. She'll be a minute.
I decide to watch her. Tears start pouring down my face as I stare, unbeknownst to her. I appreciate her hand gestures for the first time. I think about how beautiful she is. Why won't she come in? I'm ready. I'm so eager to get to talk to her. Doesn't she know the time is precious. I want to have her all to myself.
As I stare and pray for her in my head. God beautifully reveals to me His heart.

He gently says to me, "Sweet Shelly, don't you realize...This is how I wait for you. This is how I long for you. I have gifts waiting for you, in my presence. I wait for you, watching, eager, praying for you, waiting for you to look at me, join me, dine with me." Why are you so distracted my daughter? Come inside and rest, enjoy what I have for you."

Psalm 16:11
You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

I will never forget that beautiful word picture He gave me as I leaned on my door post that day. I'm so grateful it was while I was watching my mom. Her beautiful image burned in my mind forever.

Psalm 73
21 Thus my heart was grieved,
And I was vexed in my mind.
22 I was so foolish and ignorant;
I was like a beast before You.
23 Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You hold me by my right hand.
24 You will guide me with Your counsel,
And afterward receive me to glory.

25 Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
26 My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

27 For indeed, those who are far from You shall perish;
You have destroyed all those who desert You for harlotry.
28 But it is good for me to draw near to God;
I have put my trust in the Lord GOD,
That I may declare all Your works.


Karen said...

Beautiful Shelly.
My heart is hurting for you and your beloveds.
Thank you for being courageous in your writing and so consistent in the love you pour out onto others.
We are praying for your Momma and Jeff as they walk together in trust through this valley. And for you and Josh, Jamie and everyone who loves your Mom so much.
We are happy to come and stay with your little ones so you can be with your mom.
I love you very much.

His Doorkeeper said...

Shelly, I am coming over from Kelly's Korner (I'm Kelly's Mom) because your prayer request just touched my heart.

I just want to tell you that your post was the most loving words I have heard in a long time and brought me to tears. What a wonderful daughter you must be and what a Godly mother you must have!

Trust me, you were speaking to me about God waiting patiently for me to cast aside all the things that so easily keep me from His fellowship! I needed to be reminded of that today.

I will pray for your Mom. I wish I knew her name but it really doesn't matter....God know it. Bless you for asking for pray for her! I would consider it an honor to lift her to the Lord!

Joe and Tina said...

I read your post on Kellyskornerblog...and your words touched my heart in a way that I can't even describe.
I often find myself thinking the same thing about my mom...waiting for her to arrive and walk up my front steps...and making sure the tea is on/house is picked up for her.
She also has cancer, and it has been very hard on me to think about all the moments I have taken for granted with her in the past.

Your words brought tears to my eyes, and I thank you for that. I will be praying for your mom.