I Chronicles 28:20
“Be strong and of good courage, and do it; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the LORD God—my God—will be with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you, until you have finished all the work for the service of the house of the LORD.
My baby turned 1 yesterday. Just for the record...I'm not ok with this. haha When did this happen? I'm learning that motherhood is a constant letting go process. They just continue to get more and more independant...and we have small goodbye's along the way. Yes, even at 1.
My Bo is hillarious. I just adore his little personality. Right now he prefers crawling and standing on one knee. He loves to say Whoooo at just the right time. He loves his sister and big brother and is officially into EVERYTHING!
He still cuddles and sucks his thumb and that is my favorite time with him.
It is so much fun celebrating milestones in my children's life. What an honor to have family and friends to walk beside us and sometimes carry us in this journey called parenthood.
I love my Bo and I love being his mama!
It is good to give thanks to the LORD,And to sing praises to Your name, O Most High;
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
A phone call caught me off guard at the store with 3 kids in the cart and barely any room for groceries. I stop in the isle as the voice on the other line says, "Miss Young we have a cancellation and we can get Grace in for surgery this week. Does Thursday work for you?" Umm..sure, yah. Let's do it. I quickly oblige, hang up the phone and realize life is about to change...and just that quick.
My daughter, a beautiful baby girl, born full term at 5 pounds was seemingly perfect. The dr. placed her on my chest. I thought she was beautiful. I ooed and awwed. Then she cried, and I noticed something was wrong. I quickly told the doctor...there is a hole in the back of my baby's throat! They took her into the NICU and confirmed yes, she has a soft pallet cleft. And that was just the beginning. After an emergency run to the hospital at 1 week old, followed by a 6 week stay at the NICU, we found out that the cleft was a byproduct of a chromosome abnormality and she will most likely be delayed her whole life. We had chosen to name her Grace, long before we knew that she really was God's gift of grace to us. Her name was perfect and she was just as God had made her...beautiful and different.
So surgery to fix the cleft is exciting and terrifying. I catch myself looking at her differently. I look at her with compassion, knowing what is coming tomorrow. She has no idea and I could never verbally communicate in a way she could understand. So, I hold her a little longer, kiss her a little more.
I wish I could take it away or maybe just call the whole thing off. But...would that be loving? No, I can't do that. She needs it. She needs this surgery to make her whole, to allow her to eat, to allow her to grow and live.
What can I do? I realize all I can do is hold her and be there with her through it, wipe her tears, stroke her blonde curls, rock her to sleep, and never ever leave her side.
All of a sudden it clicks.
God, is this how you feel when you have to lead me through something painful? Now I know it must be necessary or you wouldn't allow it.
That's it Lord. You won't take away the pain; you won't stop the surgery, the trial, the lesson...because with the pain comes healing. I need it. I need it to be whole, to grow, and live. It’s out of love that you allow me to go through it. However, in your compassion, you promise to never leave me alone in the pain. You promise to hold me a little closer. You promise to see me through it and you promise that I will be whole, complete, and beautiful in the end.
I look back and realize that my Jesus has always held me in the hard times. He held me in elementary school when I cried watching my daddy drive away. He held me when my tiny daughter was diagnosed with a syndrome as I held her in my arms in the NICU. He held me this month when I found out my mom has breast cancer and a brain tumor. He has always held me, always loved me, and I know that I would never choose a life without Him. He is my comforter, my joy, and my peace forever.
Cast your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you
1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you.
Isaiah 41:10 Fear not for I am with you...
Blessed be the Lord,
Because He has heard the voice of my supplications!
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped;
Therefore my heart gladly rejoices,
And with my song I will praise Him.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Isn't she beautiful...with her cute Halle Berry cut?? This was her transition cut, by tomorrow you will see her in a wig or hat. So beautiful.
Please pray for her as her 2nd round of Chemo starts tomorrow.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
I was so down this week. You know those weeks where the darkness seems to prevail and its hard tuning out the lies?
Pheww. Everywhere I looked seemed dark and hopeless.
Except His word.
His truth is never overcome by darkness. His word is always a light leading me out of painful misery.
I praise Him.
1 Bless the LORD, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
2 Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:
3 Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,
4 Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,
O Lord, by these things men live; And in all these things is the life of my spirit; So You will restore me and make me live.
25 “ So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten...
He is a gracious and merciful God quick to restore and I bless Him...O my soul, I bless Him.
My baby finished Preschool.
Here he is at the beginning of the year and at the end.
It really is amazing how fast it goes.
I am so proud of him and the changes I've seen in him this year.
He is growing into such a great kid! :)
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.
I will go before thee, and make the crooked places straight.